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Here’s something I came up with last month for my 50th birthday. Sung to the tune of Alice Cooper’s, “Eighteen”.

Spots form on my face and hands
Wrinkles form around my eyes
I’m outside without any pants
It’s easier to water the plants

I’m fifty
And I forgot what I want
I just forgot what I want
I think I gotta pee
I better get out of this bed
I’ll go places without my meds
Oh yeah

I still got my driver’s license and a big ass car
Took Fifty years to get this far
Don’t always remember what I was talkin’ about
I hear you, you don’t have to shout
‘Cause I’m Fifty
I get confused every day
Huh? What did you say?
I think I’m in the way

Spots form on my face and my hands
Wrinkles form around my eyes
I’m in the middle
The middle of the road
My blinker’s on and I don’t care
I’m Fifty and I’m achy
Yes I’m achy
Oh I’m achy
Fifty and I’m cranky!

Now get off my lawn!

Written by David A. Ufer

June 16, 2014 at 4:15 pm

Posted in Eyes, Faces, Health, Me, Music

Tagged with , , , , , , ,

Tunnel of Love

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Fat man sitting on a little stool
Takes the money from my hand while his eyes take a walk all over you
Hands me the ticket smiles and whispers good luck
Cuddle up angel cuddle up my little dove
We’ll ride down baby into this tunnel of love

I can feel the soft silk of your blouse
And them soft thrills in our little fun house
Then the lights go out and it’s just the three of us
You me and all that stuff we’re so scared of
Gotta ride down baby into this tunnel of love

There’s a crazy mirror showing us both in 5-D
I’m laughing at you you’re laughing at me
There’s a room of shadows that gets so dark brother
It’s easy for two people to lose each other in this tunnel of love

It ought to be easy ought to be simple enough
Man meets woman and they fall in love
But the house is haunted and the ride gets rough
And you’ve got to learn to live with what you can’t rise above                                                                             If you want to ride on down in through this tunnel of love

Lyrics by Bruce Springsteen

Written by David A. Ufer

July 15, 2013 at 6:14 am


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Long faces in longer traffic lines

The radio DJ’s mindless chit-chat

Thinking of her, still in bed

It’s Monday

Written by David A. Ufer

June 17, 2013 at 8:38 am

Begin As You Mean To Go On

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Image Courtesy of

Image Courtesy of

She stood there, smiling

He stood there, anxious

She recognized him immediately

They hugged, greeted each other

Her sweet, delicate perfume tantalized him

He drew in a deep breath

Held it in his lungs,

Filled himself with her scent

The music played, too loudly to speak

They found a table in the back

She had such beautiful brown eyes

An impossibly radiant smile

And a waterfall of chestnut curls

Cascading over delicate features

Her comely, demure nature

Pulled him in,

Heightened his desire for her

An occasional, gentle touch

Set his body abuzz with excitement

He wanted more

They talked through the night

It was easy, effortless

Like they had known each other

For weeks, months even

They walked to her car

Talked a bit more,

And shared a goodnight hug

He held her as long as he dared

The night ended far too soon

She left him with a memory

And hope

Written by David A. Ufer

March 11, 2013 at 7:48 am

Austin, Texas

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Picture by David A. Ufer

Picture by David A. Ufer

Yeehaw! Welcome to Texas, Boy!

So here I am in Austin, Texas for a week of training. I awoke at 3:30am EST to catch a 6:00am flight because I refuse to fly in to or out of Atlanta in the winter time. The flight cost a bit more and certainly left earlier than any flights connecting with Atlanta but it is always worth it! However, it’s only 3:30pm CST and I’m already exhausted!

The University of Texas in Austin is a beautiful campus and this part of town has wonderful architecture and history. I hope I get SOME time this week after class to explore a little bit of this city; if not, I now have one more item on my bucket list.

And congratulations to EVERYONE who ran the marathon today. Wow, the course they ran MAYBE had some flat sections but it appeared to be uphill all the way, BOTH ways! My hat and running shoes are off to anyone and everyone who attempted that race.

Written by David A. Ufer

February 18, 2013 at 7:50 am

A Rich Man in a Poor Man’s Shirt

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“Everybody’s going home with their hands hurting, their feet hurting, their voice hurting and their sexual organs stimulated. Says so, right on the ticket. That’s my guarantee!” -Bruce Springsteen

Well, I won’t go into details of that guarantee but let’s just say Bruce rocked the house once again!

I only heard a couple songs of the new album so I was unsure how much I would enjoy this show but I shouldn’t have worried. Hearing those songs on the radio versus seeing them performed live was like night and day. Whether you agree with the message or not, Bruce will certainly communicate it with all the power and energy he and the E Street Band can muster and then some!

Start time: 8:25 p.m.

1. We Take Care of Our Own
2. Wrecking Ball
3. Prove It All Night
4. Death To My Hometown
5. City of Ruins
6. Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?
7. Talk to Me
8. Jack of All Trades
9. Atlantic City
10. Easy Money
11. Waitin’ On A Sunny Day
12. The Promised Land
13. Apollo Medley (The Way You Do the Things You Do/634-5789)
14. American Skin (41 Shots)
15. Radio Nowhere
16. The Rising
17. We Are Alive
18. Thunder Road

19. Rocky Ground (with Michelle Moore)
20. Land of Hope and Dreams
21. Born To Run
22. Dancing in the Dark
23. Glory Days
24. Tenth Avenue Freeze Out

End time 11:12 p.m.

“Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?” was a great surprise! A quick story about Bruce’s small apartment on 82nd Street in New York City led into this great song from his first album.

“Talk to Me” was another great surprise, probably for the band as well, as Bruce saw a sign in the cheap seats near the back of the stage and called out for the song. His expression was classic Bruce as he started playing the first few notes; a mixture of surprise and joy that he still remembered the chords. Some fun interaction with Patti added a comic touch to this song made famous by Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes.

Bruce was in great spirits; crowd surfing through the arena, pulling a young woman on stage for “Dancing in the Dark” and letting a fan(?) “sing” what she thought were the words to “Glory Days”.

My companion who was asking for some Top-40 songs got her wish toward the end of the show and we all got our wish to express our gratitude and adulation for the Big Man during “Tenth Avenue Freeze Out”. “When the change was made uptown and the Big Man joined the band…” was followed by at least a five minute band break as Bruce held out the microphone and the whole arena exploded in cheers and applause for the sorely missing Clarence Clemons. His talent was clearly passed on to his nephew Jake who handled the sax solos perfectly!

So for all of you who have tickets to upcoming shows, I’m extremely jealous. For those of you who don’t have tickets, I suggest you beg, borrow or steal them. This is still the greatest show on Earth!

Written by David A. Ufer

March 26, 2012 at 7:38 am

Posted in Music